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Dave Crawford's Witticisdoms
Dave passed away from cancer. This will be a book full of blurbs he jotted down in journals and posted on facebook. I never got to meet him, but by working on this project for the last three years, I feel like we would've gotten along really well. He always wanted to write a book, but never did.... mainly because of procrastination, but after 14 years - he will. The book will be available in December 2025.
Commissioned in 2022 by Family Historian and eldest son of Dave, Cameron G. W. Rooney-Crawford
"Staying out of my head is the best chance I got to not lose my mind..."
"Days like today I kinda wish I had a pool... so that the naked water nymphs I'm fantasizing about would have a place to swim and such..."
"...The dream raid went well... got the ice cream and stole a wallet... and let me just say... some of you guys have pretty messed up dreams..."
"Some say, 'the glass is 1/2 full.' Others say, 'the glass is 1/2 empty.' I say, 'I'm not sure,
I was never really good at fractions - or really any kind of math, for that matter..."
"It's nice to know some things never change - my dad can still take a nice piece
of meat and turn it into a tasteless, tough, stringy, inedible black mass of carbon..."
"Once again, I'm in statistics class. In moments we will be taking our first exam. I am pretty sure that I am going to bomb... If I could ever get my hands on Mr. John Graunt (1620-1674 - father of statistics) I would make that b*****d eat my text book!"
"A.A. Milne publishes 'Winnie-the-Pooh', 1926... take a wild guess which character I identify most with..."
"Just a heads-up... if by some strange twist of fate, I am ever transformed into a narwhal... I want to be called 'Spike'."
"If I ever win a million dollars,
I think I'll buy a bunch of money."
“Big goings on at the old homestead
tonight… I bought a new shiny lint trap!”
Kerri – Are you going to make something
out of the lint you’re trapping?
“A sweater… or maybe soup.”
Steve - What's it like in your head?
"It's a really bad neighborhood Steve, you know that..."
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